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Finding True Independence

Over the course of this summer I’ve had an entrepreneurial apprentice from Rhodes College. It was a great experience for both of us and one that I would repeat.

For me, the most interesting part was seeing the world through the eyes of a 20 year old and helping him understand the difference between leadership, conformity, and independence, but I realize in retrospect maybe I wasn’t that clear. So today as I sat down to write, I felt like I should clarify and pass along something that I wish I learned when I was much younger. Maybe you already learned it, but maybe this will inspire you to pass it along to someone else, because it is something that we all need to learn.

Let’s dive in.

So, picture this: You've climbed the corporate ladder, spearheaded multiple initiatives, and never let anyone push you around. Or you’ve got your flagship degree at a big name college and intend to follow it up with a Harvard MBA. Or you’ve bought a business and turned it around to insure your legacy. Or you’ve move to Silicon Valley to chase startup or tech dreams. Or you’ve chosen to make an impact in your community.

You're clearly a leader, right?

Maybe not.

The Leadership Illusion

By default, we all have conforming and comforting narratives about ourselves. We point to our management roles, our credentials, our bold decisions, and our refusal to be bossed around as proof of our leadership qualities. These achievements feel like evidence that we're independent thinkers, big achievers, and certainly not followers.

But here's the uncomfortable truth: All of this might simply prove you're an exceptional follower within your particular tribe.

Einstein's Sharp Observation

In characteristic bluntness Albert Einstein said:

"In order to form an immaculate member of a flock of sheep one must, above all, be a sheep."

Think about that for a moment. You might be the star performer, the one everyone admires, the person who seems to lead within your circle. But if the fundamental reason you chose those goals was because your social group's unwritten rules say those goals are impressive, then you're not leading. You're being a super-successful follower.

Einstein often spoke against social pressures to conform, especially in the context of education and science. He believed that true learning and advancement require curiosity, questioning, and a willingness to stand apart from the crowd.

This is the lesson I want to give to all college students and you: True leadership is turning away from the need for admiration and choosing goals that demand self-discipline and create the genuine impact you want for your life.

Otherwise you may be just an “immaculate sheep.”

By the way, it is great to be a success follower in different aspects of your life as long as your aware that are following and why you are doing so.

Behind the Curtain

To truly lead you must lead yourself and for that you need to zoom out. Way out. Keep zooming until you can truly see the invisible force that's actually running your show. You need to find the playbook you are using and realize who gave it to you.

This playbook was probably given to you by a member of the tribe you are trying to impress. It is a collection of values, expectations, and definitions of success that your social group operates by. The playbook is the real leader of you. It's the programming that determines what goals seem worth pursuing, what achievements feel meaningful, and what kind of person you should aspire to become.

Breaking Free from the Program

The path to authentic and true self leadership isn't about rejecting all social influence, which would be hard and impractical. Instead, it's about developing the awareness to distinguish between these two categories of goals:

• The goals you've chosen because they genuinely resonate with your values

• The goals you've adopted because they're what your tribe considers impressive

The super-successful follower excels at the latter, while mistaking it for the former.

The Rewards

You maybe thinking what’s the upside of figuring all this out? Well there are some great rewards for understanding these two categories of goals.

• Freedom from invisible constraints and the ability to make choices based on your own values.

• Stability and adaptability in changing environments because your purpose comes from within and not an external playbook.

• Meaningful influence and the ability to leave a unique legacy rather than replicating others’ paths.

• Deep personal fulfillment from living authentically and pursuing what truly matters to you.

• Faster personal and professional growth by challenging assumptions and embracing discomfort.

• Staying ahead of the crowd by spotting opportunities before others recognize them.

My Challenge To You

Ask yourself: What are you working toward right now, and why? Dig deeper than your surface motivations. Are you pursuing it because it aligns with who you truly are, or because it's what your particular corner of society has taught you to value?

The answer might be more uncomfortable than you expect, but hopefully liberating.

True independence isn't about rejecting all influence. It's about consciously choosing which influences to accept and which to question. The first step is simply noticing the difference.

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