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To Improve Your Life,

Improve Conversations

Even driving down the road by yourself, you are never alone because there will always be your inner voices there to talk with you.  Now these voices can be a big positive force in your life or they may form your own personal “itty bitty shitty committee” to drag you down and point out how you have failed, are failing, or will fail in the future.  This is the committee that is setting out to limit your life.

We are the words we use.  We are the conversations we have.  If you can improve the conversations that you have internally (and also externally), then you can definitely improve your life.

Learn more below.

Cheers,  

Stop Being Held Captive

It’s time to start having better conversations with ourselves.  

I’m guilty of it.  

I let my inner critics tear me down with too much frequency.  The words used by our inner critics are the worst magic spells.  And that’s the right descriptor too.  Magic Spells.  It is has been very hard at times for me to realize that these inner critics are totally making EVERTHING up.

It is worth repeating.  The words coming at you from your Itty Bitty Shitty Committee are entirely made up.

The crappy explanations we are getting almost never match up to the event that they are critiquing.  There are so many other possible explanations and still we let our crappy committee supply us with only one negative perspective.

Diseases of Captivity

Do any of these sound familiar?  

Have you experienced negative self-talk leading to any of these destructive diseases?

Fear

Anxiety

Limiting Beliefs

Perfectionism

Rumination

Learned Helplessness

Imposter Syndrome

Avoidance Behaviors

Overthinking

Comparison with Others

Emotional Suppression

Rigid Thinking

These are the types of “diseases” that keep us captive.  The words used by our inner committee hold our minds and ourselves hostage.

Events and Explanations

How often do our explanations actually match up to the actual events?  

How many possible explanations are there for an event?

When faced with a situation, it's easy to accept the negative stories that our inner critics tell us. However, there are countless explanations for a negative outcome. Our perspective is limited, shaped by these critics who are using past experiences and fears to provide an explanation that matches up to a past story.  

By opening ourselves to alternative interpretations, we can see that there are many ways to understand and respond to any situation.

Is it happening to you or for you?

Take a moment to reflect: is the story being told by your committee working for you?

Does it empower you, or does it hold you back?

Is it possible that events are happening for you and not to you?  This is the empowered way to think about it.  The truth is that the world is not out to get you.  In fact, quite the opposite is true.  Things are happening for you.  

Take back the narrative control.  

If your inner narrative is filled with negativity and self-doubt, it's time to recognize that these stories are not fixed truths. The power to change your outcomes lies in your ability to write new positive stories — to cast new positive magic spells.

Start by challenging the negative narratives.

Replace them with ones that reflect your strengths, possibilities, and resilience.

When you rewrite your inner dialogue, you reshape your reality. Empower yourself with stories that inspire growth, confidence, and action.

Remember, the stories you tell yourself shape your life. Choose to tell better ones. Our inner conversations are made up and thus can be made up positively.

Words spoken to one of my coaching clients this week:

“I’m not calling you out. I’m calling you up.”

A coach works best as an objective awareness raise.  A coach is a mirror to help the coachee evaluate what’s working and not working in their lives.  A coaching client often needs to observe their lives with a different perspective and find new possibilities. How we look at things can change. When we do have alternative views, we can grow.

Here are some questions that I’m using with my coaching clients this month that maybe helpful to you as you reshape yourself:

What am I avoiding that I know would benefit me if I faced it?This question encourages you to confront fears, insecurities, or challenges head-on, leading to personal development and self-improvement.What would I do if I knew I couldn't fail?This question helps you identify your passions and aspirations, allowing you to explore new opportunities and take calculated risks.What are my core values, and how do my actions align with them?Reflecting on your values helps you make decisions that are in line with your principles, leading to a more authentic and fulfilling life.What would my future self thank me for doing today?This question encourages you to think about the long-term impact of your choices and actions, helping you prioritize personal growth and self-improvement.

If you find this helpful, please forward along to a friend.  And please send me your thoughts on your Itty Bitty Shitty Committee.

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